Saturday, October 15, 2016

I. Am. Canadian.

I love to talk about myself. You know that and this whole blog proves it. I'm my own favourite subject. Not news.

What I hate is when I get asked where I'm from. On the surface it's an innocent question. But from the right (wrong) person, it becomes a loaded question full of assumptions. Yuck.

Picture it (and it happens like this all the time)... a cute little old lady strikes up a conversation with me. We are talking hair and food and shopping or something mundane. Then it comes:

Cute Little Old Lady: So where are you from?
Me: (knowing what she means but purposely being obtuse): Montreal.
CLOL: No, I mean where are your people from?

Look. Does it really matter? We've just had a nice conversation. Who cares if I'm Canadian, West Indian or Klingon? Why is this an important question? Will I be judged if answer "wrong"? What is the deal here?

I hate that question. I will always hate that question. Because it makes me feel like just being my sparkly wonderful self isn't enough for you. And it should be. I mean, really.


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Out of my comfort zone I go

I had my last dragonboat practice on Sunday and I miss it already. It's also my last practice with the club I've always known. I've decided to move on to another club that's more competitive. I'm scared shitless. I've paddled with Ottawa River Canoe Club for 10 years this year and I'm so freaking comfortable there. I've got friends I've known ever since I've picked up a paddle and I so don't want to leave. But I also want to challenge myself on a team that travels to international competitions and has a tryout process.

Yikes... Tryouts! Plus nutrition and fitness plans and repercussions if you can't keep up. Double yikes! I know in life you have to take the plunge and do things that scare you but sometimes I think I've been rash about this. And I'm also giving up my coveted and earned "stroke" seat at ORCC (front left) to sit somewhere else with all new teammates. So out of my comfort zone I go but...

I'm dying inside. My stomach does nauseating slow flips whenever I think about it.

I've signed up to do yoga classes with my new team (The Ottawa Dragon Masters) just to meet them, shake off the nerves before I hit the water in the spring and I also want them to see my enthusiasm. I hope to show them I'm up to the task. At least I hope I can fake enthusiasm for right now because on the inside I'll be an insecure bundle of nerves. Gotta go. These bricks won't shit themselves.


Saturday, September 24, 2016

A gloriously plan-free day

I don't get many of these but I try to take advantage when I can. And by take advantage I mean make a list of all the things I plan to do, then not do any of them while simultaneously blogging and watching reality tv.

Here is the list I made last night that I am roundly ignoring:

  • Laundry (I'm out of undies)
  • Pedicure (I have polish left on four toes. In all)
  • Call the jewellery store about the ring I ordered... (Hey! I can do that now just sitting here. Hold on... not ready. Poop. But YAY, One item done off the list)
  • Bake (my neighbour gave me 2 zukes as long and wide as Arnie's arm so I thought I'd make brownies)
I was told once that to feel successful you need to add things to your list that you've already done so here goes:

  • Eat a bacon sandwich
  • write a blog post
  • ...
And we're done here.


Thursday, September 1, 2016

School starts in 6 days

Summer is nearly over. In fact, there's already a chill in the air (and in my heart) just thinking about it.

But I don't want to be negative. So here are 10 things I'm looking forward to in the coming months.

  1. My leopard print Snuggie
  2. New tv season
  3. knitting
  4. Christmas
  5. I'll be back on a schedule so the gym and my diet can get back to normal
  6. Um... Oooh! I can drink my lapsang souchong tea again
  7. Doctor Strange and Fantastic Beasts in November and Rogue One in December
  8. hot chocolate
  9. guilt-free couch surfing
  10. I seriously can't think of another one. I want my summer back!
Sorry, that last one was a negative slip. I'm really going to miss summer, though.


A lot.


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Loving the Olympics

I've been watching Olympic coverage since 1976 when Nadia Comaneci got 10s on the uneven parallel bars. But more than the amazing feats of strengths, I love the stories of athletes with amazing hearts.

-Like the 2 runners that got caught up in each other's cleats and helped each other across the line second last and last. That was in a qualifying heat and the amazing judges let them both go on to the next round.

-Like the 41 year old gymnast from Uzbekistan. I'm going to spell that out if that didn't sink in. FORTY-ONE.

-Like the equestrian from the Netherlands whose horse was sick so she bowed out of the competition so he could recover.

So inspiring and they all get gold for heart. Now I'm watching men's decathlon and holy smokes, these athletes are amazing. They'd be world class at any one of these things but they do 10. They run 100m, 400m, 1500m, hurdles, long jump, high jump, discuss, shot put, pole vault and javelin. Isn't that fucking insane?

Family and I had a good laugh thinking about other crazy events. We couldn't stop laughing at the thought of having a "mystery decathlon". The athletes would show up at the Olympics not knowing what 10 events they'd be competing in. They just put everything in a hat and draw them. Picture their faces as their events get pulled.





Ping Pong!


Race Walking!



Rhythmic Gymnastics!

I'm giggling at the thought. The mind tends to wander as they cut away from decathlon to golf and back.

After all this there is still 4 days left. I wonder what other stories they have in store. Are there any stories you loved from the Olympics thus far? What's your favourite sport to watch? All? None? This is the only time I'm a sports fan so you won't be insulting me...


Thursday, July 28, 2016


Doesn't everyone swear in French Canadian when they get hurt?

So while skydiving bungee jumping okay fine towelling off Friday, I tweaked my back. And by tweaked, I mean fucked it up real bad. After crying naked on the bathroom floor a while, feeling sorry for myself (I was alone), I managed to drag my sorry, damp, ass to the medicine cabinet. I took a bunch of Advil, Robaxicet and rubbed some Lakota on it for good measure. Today is Thursday and it still feels delicate. The chiropractor took a whack at it, trying to manhandle it into place but it still feels like it may go again at any minute. You know it's bad when I had to skip not one but 2 dragonboat practices. Merde.

All that to say to you youngsters don't get old.

As it's throwback Thursday, I thought I'd share this old post about how I nearly committed justifiable homicide on Scott one time when he was sick. I think the secret of a long marriage is being able to curb those murderous impulses, don't you?


Monday, July 25, 2016

Pokemon Go

Yes, I play it. Yes, I'm an adult. Usually.

Yesterday I joined a bunch of fellow nerds on a Pokemon hunt. As we wandered the streets on that beautiful day with our heads looking down at our phones, we notice a pokestop. We wander over and notice that it was a skate park. It was pretty popular. too.

So there I was, with 10 other "adults", playing a child's game on my phone, while 15 kids zoomed around on bikes and skateboards, phones safely in their... wherever kids keep phones. So that happened.

You'd think that would shame me into not playing anymore but it didn't. now where are they hiding those Pikachu?


This is us.

And here are a few of the kids. Sigh...